Little Man's Big Adventure

It was a rough day for Little Man. Dad and I had a time getting him to relax so we could get a halter on him today. He fought, boy did he fight. The poor man fell over slamming his body on the ground quite a few times. He even hit the ground so hard one time that he just laid there for a bit. We think he might have knocked the wind out of himself. He is much easier to hold on to, I probably could have held him but I am just learning how to deal with the horses, especially the babies. You don't want to wait to long to work with them because they grow fast and do get size that makes it rougher to deal with when trying to train them. We are halter breaking all the babies so we only have Little Girl left and she is out in the pasture enjoying freedom but boy when we get her locked up and put the halter on her, I think she might give us the hardest time. She is pretty strong. Little Man isn't as big as the other two babies and more able to be controlled, his momma stayed out the way but did show concern and was coming over to see what was happening, unlike Big Man's momma who didn't even flinch. Learning what it takes to develop a well breed horse is fascinating and I am truly enjoying it. If there were no flies outside and especially around the horses I'd be with them constantly. I love these animals, they are very special and when you treat them well and love them they treat you well and love you back. This does not mean they aren't unpredictable because they are, you never put complete trust into any animal that is where people go wrong, but you can put trust into them, know that they don't mean to hurt you if they do, sometimes they are just trying to get out of the way or something has frightened them which makes them react. What I hate most is when people who have such magnificiant animals don't treat them right, letting them starve or have babies but don't do what is needed to take care of them. I believe animals, pets, deserve as much respect as humans, we need to treat them like God treats us, with respect and love. We have a long way to go in the training and breaking of the babies but the process is fun and it teaches you patience which you all know I need. Plus I have the need to make sure they are okay all the time, I worry for them like I do anything I love. Little Man hit the ground so many times I was a little bit scared for him and very concerned, I wanted him to relax and give in to what were trying to do with him, it wasn't to hurt him at all, it is to make him stronger and better. This process is going to be fun. Keep yall posted.

Fillies and Colts

Well its been some time since I have written, and if you have been waiting I apologize, got caught up. Mostly caught up in a break up that I went through. Yes I am officially single again. I hate being single, well I don't hate it I just don't like it very much. Not because I have to have a man or really need a man, I WANT a man in my life, someone to love hold share things with, laugh with, cry with, make love to or with. I don't like to have to do things alone all the time. I don't see many friends, well I don't see any at this time although I am making new ones now, very excited about this, but still its nice to have a man you love next to you or to know that he will be next to you soon. I miss talking to him daily, I miss kissing him every time we were together, I miss laughing with him and making love to him, I miss looking at him, I miss a lot of things, but I have t weigh what was missing in the relationship for us to get to the point where we let it go and I think at this point those things out weigh the things I listed that would hold the relationship together. Love is the icing on the cake but it does not make the cake. The cake has so many ingredients to make it especially to make it rise and hold it together. I/we needed more in our cake and we needed to be willing to make adjustments together to make our cake taste great and last. Well my guy it appears wasn't or isn't willing to make the adjustments needed but he also may not have known how best to make those adjustments. I will not bad mouth this man, he was great, is great, but I needed more from him or any man I am going to love for a life time. I don't want to say never ever will we not be together, but at this time we are on different paths, maybe they will cross again. I did want to marry this man and have his kid(s), boy did I want to do that and thought we were going to do all this, but I guess the universe sees something else for us. I know he will be better off and I will to, we will.

Now let me tell you about the ranch, the whole reason you probably are reading this blog. We are in the midst of halter breaking our biggest colt, Big Man. Yesterday daddy put a halter on him for the first time, that was interesting to witness. My dad had to get him separated from his momma by getting him in to a smaller part of the stall he is staying in with her and we shut it off. Then it was about putting a rope around his neck to reel him in. Dad tried a lead rope then we went to a lasso, my daddy has a lasso, think I am going to get one and learn how to use it. The lasso worked very well once daddy got it around his neck, which took a few tries. But Big Man fought a bit, nothing to wild, I've seen crazy wild, like in the last movie Clark Gable did with Marilyn Monroe remember the scene with him trying to tame the wild stallion, well this was mild compared to that and with a colt so not so big. Big Man pulled and tugged but eventually due to his becoming tired and realizing that we weren't going to hurt him and him learning to just give in, it was okay, he finally gave in. Daddy got the halter on his face pretty easily after all that. Big Man was sweaty and lathered up, his beige colored body turned gray from the sweat. He is now walking around his stall with lead rope attached to his halter so that he can get used to the feeling. His momma didn't do a thing, just ate her hay and ignored it all, until we were ready to let him go back into the part of the stall she was in then she noticed and called to him. I guess like other mothers, horses simple know that the one taking care of them will not hurt them so they wont hurt their baby and they are at ease. I later brushed the mare down, she, Jessalina, loves to be brushed, especially her head and forehead. She just stood there and let me do my thing, such a sweet disposition, but she didn't want me to stop. Her baby, Big Man didn't let me brush him, but a small amount, he was busy talking to Little Girl and Little Man. I then went into the stall with Little Man and his Momma, he came up to me and of course wanted to be brushed so he stood still while I did it, so sweet, but he is filling himself. His baby hair is coming out as with the other babies, and they are turning out to have a much different color coat than what we thought from their births. That is a trip to witness as well, they can come out with a buckskin color then shed their hair and turn out to be a rare color of Grullo(a mousey gray color). Either way our babies are turning out to be gorgeous and good looking. After brushing Little Man I got in the pasture and brushed Little Girl, who loves to be brushed, she doesn't like you to stop. She kept following me for a bit and walking up on me, her momma does the same but she was busy eating grass so she didn't pay much attention to me brushing anyone and didn't pay attention to me when I did finally brush her. She just kept eating grass and letting me brush her. That was my play date with the horses today, I love them, they are specially creatures, very intelligent and beautiful I feel lucky to be apart of their lives.

Daddy and I worked on the fence some more and we do have a bit more to do with the fence before its all complete and what we want, but its nice that we are making progress. After we complete outside we will tackle the inside of the house, boy do I have a few things I want to do in here, if I could go crazy I would but daddy isn't going to let me, I mean it is his house :-)

Life changes

The filly and the colts are all growing up. They are between 2 months & 3 months old, they mature at a different rate than humans and even dogs. They are beautiful and funny, inquisitive, smart and sometimes a bit attitudish. They're moms are just all about eating and letting the little ones learn about life away from them from time to time. If the little ones spend to much time away from mama they get called, just like a human would, and the babies if they haven't seen their mamas in awhile will call for them to find them and then get to them asap. The youngest baby who we call Little Man has become so sweet, he runs up to dad and I every morning so we can pet and rub him, he also like to get his bottom scratched like the others do. He isn't as scary as he used to be which is fantastic, he is inquisitive and has learned to be away from his mama a bit more though not as much as the older kids. He is a beautiful color, they all have the same daddy but they each have a different color its amazing how their genetic line makes the difference in how they turn out. They are going to be gorgeous for sure. Little Girl is turning out to look like a carbon copy of her mama, my dad says she will be even better than her mom and should this be the case her mom will be sold and she will replace her as a brood mare, crazy how this works. If it were me we'd keep them all forever. We have a mare here that was born at the ranch, her name is Poco, she is black gorgeous and sweeeeeeettttt. Her disposition is just great, she is broken to ride and had her first baby, a boy, last year, he got sold this year and she wasn't happy about his being taken away but she got over it. She loves being spoken to and rubbed and brushed I just love her and hope we keep her with us forever. She will be having our only baby next year. The ranch is coming together, getting cleaned up getting our projects completed, its nice to be apart of this undertaking. I respect my dad so much and admire him a great deal he just lives his dreams and doesn't slow down, such an extraordinary man. I want to be of assistance to him in his expansion of the ranch and the house I want to help him as much as I can and make it the dream my dad had and my mom had for Quad P Quarters.

Now my personal life in Oxford, well I wont be teaching this fall on campus, I just couldn't afford what they were able to offer at this time, but I hope that things will improve in the budget for next year or maybe even the next semester. I am signing with an agent, YES! ETA Elzemeyer Talent Agency in Memphis, hopefully some great things will come from this for both parties. And I landed a part in an August Wilson play, JOE TURNERS COME AND GONE. Its with Hattiloo Theatre, in Memphis, TN, the only black theatre in the region and I am excited and look forward to what the future holds. On another note, I broke up with my boyfriend, this just occured so its fresh and painful. I love him, I hope he loved me, I just think we are from two different worlds and the things I need in my man he isn't ready to give me at this time or maybe ever but I did learn a lot and I am grateful he was in my life (hopefully he will remain in it), he is a fabulous man in his way and I wish him nothing but the best. So I am single again, dang! I just feel like maybe I need to give up on this thing called relationship, I am not good at them it appears, I tend to fall for men I feel I have to save, I learned this in this relationship, its the captain-save-a-man syndrome and its bad. Every man I have fallen in love with I initially said hell no to, there was no way I would date them for various reasons, I knew that we were not truly compatible yet I went into a relationship with them anyway. Why do I do this?! desperation? stupidity? fear of being alone? captain-save-a-man? unsure of my worth? not enough love for myself? my need to be in control? fear of getting hurt and going for the guy who is there and tells me he loves me? I don't know what the issue is or maybe I do and its right in my face and I am writing them down now (take heed) but I do know I have to make some changes and number one has to be making myself happy as I am alone. I know I don't need a man, I know this, I want a man, I want to be a wife and mother, I've dreamed of it, I dream of it, but I have to love me by myself through and through and I have to be patient and let the universe bring me and the right man together, keeping faith and being true to my needs and wants is going to be the key I believe. I can't begin dwelling in the pain of breaking up, I mean I am allowing the pain to happen I just can't beat myself up for it and dwell in it forever. I plan to enjoy the rest of this summer and look forward to what this fall brings, you never know anything can happen. I met and fell for a great guy, sweet carrying honest faithful wise country, and I didn't make a mistake, I just didn't take into consideration that I needed a bit more in my man than this one is able to give at this time, (who knows he might become all I need and I all he needs, we might get together again, there is love there) but right now I have to stick to my guns and not feel like I am settling just because of a need to be loved by a man. I hope I am making since and I hope I am not seen as a crazy woman going through this. Advice from others is great and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Maybe my current plight will open someone else eyes to theirs. So there it is folks, what I am going through now, OHHHHHH I got P90X and plan to start this work out in the next week after getting all the equipment I need. I need to post my before shot and then in 90 days my after. I can tell yall how much I weigh, this will keep me on the straight and narrow on the road to health, 200 lbs, yes I weigh 200 lbs, I can't believe it either, 5'4 and that weight, UGH! I also bought a juicer and my dad and I have been juicing every morning its great I love doing it and we feel already like our insides are getting healthier. I am going to also take yoga, but I guess I have to be dedicated to following P90X for 90 days first. I'll keep yall posted on all that takes place as usual. Be blessed!

Family

Well I got back from our family reunion which took place in Evansville, Indiana, this past 4ht of July weekend. I hadn't been to a family reunion since I was a little little kid. 415 folk showed up, 300 or so didn't come imagine that. It was a fun time. Got to meet many and see those I hadn't seen in years. It was eye opening and made me realize how lucky I am to be apart of the family. We have some really beautiful people in my family, and I mean physically and all. And everyone seems successful, though the economy has hit a few they keep going forward, amazing to have that in a family large. My uncle Alton is the second oldest member that was at the reunion, I grew up knowing him, he is 85 and still kicking, there was one man older than him but probably only by a year or two and they are first cousins and lookes so much alike. That is the thing about family when you see them you begin to really see yourself, you can turn and see someone who looks like you but is a 3rd cousin or maybe even a 4th, you can see clearly the family resemblances, it was crazy and exciting to see all the connections. One dark spot was I had a huge, knock out fight with my sister in our hotel room. My dad witnessed the whole thing. What I learned about how my sister really feels about me was very eye opening, she is a trip, she hates me to say the least and one day I will write about our relationship and make it into a play. I guess the truth is you don't pick your family, you can't, you are just born into it and you can't pick your siblings, they just come with the territory, what you can do is elect to deal with them or not. You don't have to be friends or even associate, what you can do is be cordial and stay out of each others way, let your siblings live their lives and you live yours. Love the from afar.

Anyway, beyond that I am having a good time in my life here in Mississippi. The horses were well taken care of, my man handled that, and the house was secure. My dad and I are getting back into work mode around the ranch, today we cleared a feeder out of a bunch of bushes that had grown around it, got post out of there as well and I emptied pots of weeds that were growing in them. I was trying to start from a seed, some plants but it didn't work, so I am starting over. I plan to purchase the plants already started instead of starting from seeds. I want herbs and create a small herb garden, it would be really cool and we could have fresh spices and things to put into our food. Next I want to create a small garden in our back yard, haven't found a spot since my dad has the place looking great with lawn and pasture for the horses, but I am looking. I want to put in a lemon tree, apple tree and if possible a orange tree. In the garden I'd like collard or turnip greens, peas, squash, maybe some sweet corn, cuccumbers, egg plant and something else with color, not really into tomatos but maybe them just cause every garden has them. I want my daddy and I to eat healthier, we both need to lose weight and are going to. I want my daddy around for a long time and I'd like to live a long time. I also have to plant some colorful flowers around the house, dad is saying this like everyday so i am getting together with our neighbor and she is going to show me a thing or two, she has done wonders around her home, builds everything makes everything without the help of her husband or with it when its really heavy stuff she needs done. Its a great project to get into garden, makes your place look amazing. So before summer is up I am starting that. I started a cleanse diet yesterday, 3 days of water and 9 days of juice, fruit and veggie. My juicer came in the day before we left for the reunion and I am excited to use it. I need to clean my system out and hopefully kick start my weight lose. Dad and I need to lose 20lbs each by Sept.

I gotta cut this short as my man is sitting in the family room falling asleep and we haven't visited yet. But now that our computer is working again, its was down folks sorry, I'll write everyday.